Dr. Phil’s Relationship Surprises: Recap and Analysis
October 8, 2009
Dr. Phil
On Thursday October 8th the Dr. Phil Show aired the episode “Relationship Surprises.” The intro had Dr. Phil surveying the audience for reactions to the controversy surrounding the extra-marital affair of former Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards, but the majority of the episode focused on issues of sexual orientation.
Jane Velez-Mitchell, host of HLN’s Issues with Jane Velez-Mitchell, was Dr. Phil’s first guest. She told the story, which is the subject of her new memoir, I Want, of her battle with alcoholism and her struggle to come out of the closet to herself and the world.
“Once I didn’t have the alcohol to self-medicate suddenly all these other feelings started coming up. Essentially I had to admit to myself that I’m gay…[It] was kind of a chain reaction of honesty. I got honest about my addiction and then I got honest about my sexual orientation.”
Jane Velez-Mitchell
Velez-Mitchell, who has been sober since 1995, came out to friends and family before coming out publicly during a KABC radio show with Al Rantel, an openly gay conservative. During the course of the show, in which the two of them were discussing Sen. Larry Craig, Mitchell said she began to feel like a hypocrite for not revealing to the audience that she was gay and living with a woman, so she did just that.
Dr. Phil’s second guest was Barbara, a single lesbian who decided to have a child via in-vitro fertilization at age thirty-nine, and has now begun to question her sexual orientation for the first time.
Dr Phil questioned whether her new feelings for men were the result of an image in her mind or a social concept she has, now that she’s a mother.
Barbara responded:
“I know that I want the best for her ..…[I] don’t want her to start off with a strike against her in any way so I guess that’s what’s attractive about it. Like you said, the husband, the white picket fence. That’s why I’m confused. I’m wondering if it has more to do with what I want for her…”
Dr. Phil was supportive of Barbara questioning her identity without putting pressure on her to decide. He encouraged her to relax and “see where it goes.”
At GLAAD’s request, the Dr. Phil Show invited Denise Penn, a clinical social worker who sits on the board of directors for the American Institute of Bisexuality (AIB), to participate in the discussion. Denise had this to say about Barbara’s questioning identity:
“Thanks, Dr. Phil, I agree with you completely. It’s all about relaxing and accepting who you are and she’s going through a lot. Being a mother is such a big change in your life. But we’ve found at AIB that there isn’t a lot of research about women’s sexuality…[T]he myth is that bisexuality is some phase people go through while they’re getting comfortable with their homosexuality but the reality is that a lot of people come out as gay and later on they question that and they find other attractions to the opposite sex. “
In addition, Dr. Phil was vocal in his defense of single mothers and same-sex parents:
“I would also not want you to make the wrong assumption that this baby can’t have a wonderful fulfilling nurturing life with a single mother or with two mothers.”
We also commend Dr. Phil for engaging with his last guest, Mika, a mother whose daughter recently came out as bisexual, around her rejection of her daughter and for bringing up the issue of LGB youth and suicidal ideation.
Mika was fixated on what she saw as her daughter’s denial of her true straight identity but Dr. Phil was very careful to steer the conversation away from analyzing whether or not Mika’s daughter is bisexual and towards a conversation on how important it is to be supportive and communicative with her daughter, regardless of her sexual orientation.
He quoted the statistics, provided to him by The Trevor Project, so that Mika would be aware that her adamant rejection of her daughter’s orientation places her daughter at an increased risk for suicide, over twice that of youth who come out in a supportive environment.
Dr. Phil let us down a little when describing the daughter’s identity. He consistently used the word claim, as in “your daughter claims to be bisexual.” He used this word each time he described the youth’s sexual orientation. While this may have been Mika’s language, it was disappointing to hear Dr. Phil repeat it.
We urge Dr. Phil to use the phrase come out as opposed to claim and also to consistently use inclusive language. A few times he slipped and used gay or lesbian and left out bisexual.
Denise Penn raised a crucial point when she asked Mika if she would feel the same if her daughter was a lesbian. Unfortunately this was a point Penn was not able to come back to because Dr. Phil interjected after Mika’s answer.
Dr. Phil repeated his concerns about Mika losing her daughter if she doesn’t keep communication open. After which, he turned to Jane Velez-Mitchell and said:
“Jane, that’s what kept you from coming out – this kind of judgment and fear, is what kept you from coming out, right?”
Velez-Mitchell responded:
“This is a perfect example of why people don’t come out.”
She went on to attribute this to Mika’s homophobia, which Mika vociferously denied. However, it is possible that she may not be homophobic, or at least not in this instance, as the reactions Mika expressed might be more aptly attributed to biphobia:
“[T]his whole liking a boy one week and a girl the next week ….[I] just don’t like it.”
It seemed fairly clear that Mika’s issue was with her daughter’s attractions to boys and girls. Dr. Phil later revealed that Mika had even kicked her daughter out of the house for her bisexual identity. While alarming, Mika’s reaction is not uncommon. Thousands of kids are kicked out of their homes each year in the US for being LGBT. According to the 2007 Task Force report, Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Youth: An Epidemic of Homelessness, 20 to 40 percent of homeless youth are LGBT.
Dr Phil urged Mika to educate herself and to make sure her daughter feels that she is accepted. He wrapped up the conversation by telling Mika to make sure to keep the lines of communication open and promised to send her “information to eliminate some of the myths that are out there.”
We’ve been working with the Dr. Phil show for a number of years. We want to thank the program for taking time to create a show with a qualified expert. We will continue to be in touch with the Dr. Phil show to provide information, resources, and spokespeople. Please contact us at nationalnews@glaad.org to share your reactions to the broadcast.
Related Posts:GLAAD-Placed Bi Expert To Appear on Thursday’s Dr. Phil Show
October 7, 2009
Dr. Phil will be airing a show tomorrow titled “Relationship Surprises,” an episode that deals with revealing secrets to loved ones. In this case, those secrets have to do with issues of sexual orientation.
We were pleased that the producers of the Dr. Phil show consulted with GLAAD about how to handle this topic. At our request, they placed Denise Penn, a clinical social worker who sits on the board of directors for the American Institute of Bisexuality (AIB), to participate in the discussion.
Jane Velez Mitchell, host of HLN’s Issues with Jane Velez Mitchell, is also appearing on the show to talk about her own struggles with alcoholism and coming out, a process which is the subject of Mitchell’s new memoir: I Want.
We received an advance copy of the show and were pleasantly surprised with the content. Given previous problematic episodes (and teazers), most notably a segment on transgender children that they were planning to re-air earlier this year until GLAAD reached out to Dr. Phil’s producers and issued a call to action, we feel the Dr. Phil show is making major strides towards being fair, accurate and inclusive.
We are curious to hear your reactions to the show. Please contact us at nationalnews@glaad.org with your thoughts. We will be posting a more thorough analysis after the show airs tomorrow afternoon.
Related Posts:UPDATE: Dr. Phil Show Agrees to Pull Problematic Segment on Transgender Children
July 28, 2009
Yesterday, we posted about how the Dr. Phil Show had planned to re-air a problematic segment about transgender children and asked that you reach out to the show. GLAAD also reached out to the producers to voice concerns and ask them not to air the show.
Monday evening we heard back from the Dr. Phil Show producers. They told us they were pulling the show titled, “Gender Confused Kids” and instead reairing their other program on transgender children. That show, which originally aired in January, includes our GLAAD trained spokesperson, Dr. Michele Angello, an expert on transgender children.
As you’ll see if you watch the show, Dr. Angello eloquently counters the misinformation put forth by Focus on the Family and the so-called “ex-gay” activist, Joseph Nicolosi. We appreciate The Dr. Phil Show listening to our concerns and making this decision to pull the original program.
The Dr. Phil website indicates the show is airing an unrelated program this Wednesday, July 29 so it is not entirely clear they are running the follow-up show on transgender children this week. Regardless, we are still pleased they pulled the highly problematic first program.
Related Posts:Dr. Phil to Re-Air Problematic Transgender Episode
July 27, 2009
**UPDATE: Dr. Phil Show Agrees to Pull Problematic Segment. Read more here.**
—————————————-
The Dr. Phil program plans to re-air an October 2008 episode that misrepresents transgender children and features the biased view of an anti-LGBT activist.
On the October 29, 2008 episode of Dr. Phil titled “Gender-Confused Kids,” Dr. Phil McGraw interviewed transgender children and their parents. The show featured two guests, Dr. Dan Siegel from UCLA who specializes in pediatrics and transgender issues, as well as Glenn Stanton, research fellow for the anti-LGBT organization Focus on the Family.
While Dr. Siegel offered credible insight on transgender issues, backed by research and medical experience, Stanton baselessly asserted that children develop transgender identities after parents fail to enforce gender roles. The program’s choice to present Stanton’s biased and unreliable perspective as a professional counterpart to Dr. Siegel’s medical expertise earned the episode a place in GLAAD’s October 2008 edition of Best and Worst of National News Coverage.
Several viewers wrote Dr. Phil in response to the problematic episode to voice concern about the platform the Dr. Phil program afforded to the anti-LGBT organization Focus on the Family (FOF) and which allowed FOF to perpetuate misinformation about transgender children.
As a result, Dr. Phil producers reached out to GLAAD and asked for better resources for future coverage and worked with GLAAD to prepare a follow-up show that featured Dr. Michele Angello, a specialist in transgender issues. Dr. Angello joined Dr. Siegel as another insightful commentator on that show. The episode, however, again featured anti-LGBT activist Glenn Stanton, as well as Joseph Nicolosi, a so-called “ex-gay” activist from the discredited fringe organization NARTH (National Association for Research & Therapy of Homosexuality.
You can read about so-called “ex-gay” activists here.
As noted in GLAAD’s critique of the follow-up episode, there are still no modern peer-reviewed studies that support so-called “ex gay” groups nor are there studies that lend credibility to their outdated and long-abandoned theories about the nature of sexual orientation or gender identity. Dr. Phil once again manufactured controversy by featuring the two unqualified and prejudiced anti-LGBT activists who detracted from the valuable opportunity to more substantively educate the American public on the topic of transgender issues.
Dr. Phil is now scheduled to re-air the original episode, “Gender-Confused Kids” on Wednesday, July 29, despite the numerous complaints the program received after its original air date.
GLAAD has reached out to Dr. Phil producers and asked them to pull the episode titled “Gender-Confused Kids.”
GLAAD urges you to contact the Dr. Phil show as well and voice your concern about the problematic segment. Tell producers that featuring Glenn Stanton of Focus on the Family only serves to misrepresent transgender children and helps create a climate that contributes to putting them in harm’s way.
CONTACT:
Carla Pennington Stewart, Executive Producer
(323) 956-4051
Phil McGraw, Host
(323) 956-3300
Stephanie Granader, Senior Producer
(323) 956-3387
Dr. Phil Gives Up the Search for Fake Bisexual Teens, For Now
May 8, 2009
Last week, a teazer appeared on Dr. Phil’s website that stated:
Is your teenager rebelling by pretending to be bi-sexual? Has your teen pretended to be bi-sexual because he/she thinks it’s cool? Or has your teenage daughter pretended to be bi-sexual to attract boys?
Please email only if you are willing to appear on TV.
Soon after, Queers United sent out a call to action on their blog. Bisexual blogger Sheela Lambert and others from the community responded by writing letters and reaching out to GLAAD for assistance.
GLAAD responded by contacting a producer of the Dr. Phil show with concerns about the defamatory nature of this teazer and offered to provide bisexuality expert spokespeople to participate in a possible show about bisexuality.
We received this response:
We are not planning on doing a show like this right now or in May sweeps. We are going into hiatus next week and will not be taping for a while. We have many plugs up because we are always looking for interesting stories. If a story like this should come to fruition we will attempt to contact you.
Thank you.
Soon after GLAAD made contact with the producer, we noted that the teazer was removed.
h/t to BiWriters and Queers United
A Mixed Review of Dr. Phil’s Latest Attempt to Cover Transgender Children
January 15, 2009
Dr. Phil McGraw once again tried to tackle the subject of transgender children on his January 13 broadcast. The segment, titled, Little Boy Lost, explored a mother’s journey to understanding her transgender child’s path to living as her true self.
In what could have been a solid examination of transgender children through the eyes of a concerned mom seeking answers from qualified experts, Dr. Phil instead chose to add fireworks and manufacture controversy by inviting two unqualified anti-LGBT activists to “debate” two qualified professionals, UCLA child psychiatrist Dr. Dan Siegel and psychotherapist Dr. Michele Angello, both of whom specialize in transgender issues. That plan backfired as the featured mom, named Toni, spent much of the airtime defending her 11-year-old transgender daughter and angrily confronting Glenn Stanton from the anti-gay organization Focus on the Family and Joseph Nicolosi, an “ex-gay” activist from the discredited fringe organization, NARTH, the National Association for Research & Therapy of Homosexuality (you can read about so-called “ex-gay” activists here). Stanton and Nicolosi’s baseless assertion is that that children develop transgender identities when their parents fail to enforce gender roles.
It is important to remember that the political and pseudoscientific groups like NARTH do not rely on – and have long been discredited by – credible social science research. There are no modern peer-reviewed studies that support so-called “ex-gay” groups or lend credibility to their outdated and long-abandoned theories about the nature of sexual orientation or gender identity.
GLAAD criticized the Dr. Phil Show last year for offering the anti-LGBT Stanton as a professional counterpart to UCLA’s Siegel. To their credit, Dr. Phil producers called GLAAD for resources as they planned this follow-up show, and they took our advice, inviting psychologist Dr. Michele Angello onto the program to join Siegel in the credible part of the dialogue.
Although some good information did emerge during the program which supported transgender children being who they are—even a few sound bites from an endocrinologist and a pediatrician from the transgender clinic at Children’s Hospital in Los Angeles— the time devoted to refuting the wildly bogus claims of Stanton and Nicolosi took away valuable oportunities to substantively educate the American public on this most important topic.
The popular gay blog Good As You summed up the Dr. Phil episode well:
The primary problem? That shows like “Dr Phil,” with their “neutral ground,” facilitate the idea that both sides hold equal merit. While we get and even respect the suggestion to delve into the teachings of the side with which you do not agree, the simple fact is that when you are talking about LGBT matters, those involved in the professional anti-LGBT industry (as both Glenn Stanton and Joseph Nicolosi are) are simply not objective counterpoints! And it’s not us being closed-off or intolerant to say that. It’s us, as ones who spend every single day analyzing the anti-LGBT movement, presenting our educated findings.
GLAAD will continue pitching solid spokespeople like Dr. Michele Angello to the Dr. Phil Show. We will also remind the show that promoting activists like Nicolosi and Stanton and pairing them for debate purposes with credible medical professionals and social scientists simply elevates and legitimizes their discredited claims. Just as when media coverage examines any aspect of the medical sciences, knowing how to differentiate between credible authorities and politically motivated (and usually self-proclaimed) “experts” is crucial for providing accurate information.
Analysis: Dr. Phil on Marriage Debate
November 21, 2008
In what is believed to be the first national talk show to devote its full hour to California’s battle for marriage equality, Dr. Phil offered up a sweeps month episode that claimed to examine both sides—literally, as the audience was divided down the middle with those for on one side and those against on the other.
Sitting on the panel were San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom, HRC president Joe Solmonese, and attorney Gloria Allred debating anti-gay Pastor Jim Garlow of Skyline Church, Maggie Gallagher of National Organization for Marriage, and Jeff Flint from the Yes on 8 campaign.
Dr. Phil tells the audience that he is looking to present each side of the campaign and that he won’t take a stand either way as it should be a “personal decision.” If he means that the majority voting on a minority’s civil rights should be a personal decision, then, uh, Phil, we disagree. Let’s examine the rest of the hour. . .
Segment 1: The now-familiar talking heads were met with wild, unnatural applause from their respective followers after each statement. With all the hooting and hollering going on, you might think for a moment that they were overflow audience from The Jerry Springer Show (but they are dressed too nicely).
The challenge of this kind of talk-over-each-other forum is that whoever gets the last word in before the commercial break often seems to score a hypothetical point for their side. Gallagher erroneously states that gays & lesbians don’t need marriage: “All the practical rights and benefits for people to live their life are still available through civil unions.” Wild applause and cut to commercial.
Point 1: Team H8
Segment 2: The topic is the campaign ads on both sides. “Did they go too far,” asks Phil, pointing out that at $74 million this was the most expensive social issue campaign in history.
There is a surface discussion about the Prop 8 ads which presented misinformation about the religious and education ramifications if Prop 8 should fail. Joe Solmonese points out that the Prop 8 campaign couldn’t find any California public school educator to put in their ad to support their bogus claims about same-sex marriage being taught in schools.
“First they call you haters and bigots if you disagree with them on marriage,” Gallagher spewed. “Now they call you liars if you disagree with them about the consequences of gay marriage.” Uh, Maggie, if the shoe fits. Check out the screengrab (right) to see an unintentional message being sent to viewers.
After 20 minutes, Gloria Allred finally gets a word in and lays into Gallagher. Solmonese thankfully brings the conversation back to the differences between marriage and civil unions.
Point 2: Equality
Segment 3: Opens with b-roll of a handwritten sign that boldly reads “GAYS HATE GOD.” Ick. Having been on the frontline of the rallies, I know the rallies have brought out many gay people and allies of faith. The sign seems like an anomaly or perhaps a plant by anti-gay operatives—either way, it unnecessarily stokes the flames. “Man-on-the-street” interviews follow about the church and its involvement in the campaign. Shot at what appears to be Garlow’s Skyline Church, church members deliver the false messages they’ve been fed through e-mails, mailings, commercials and likely their pulpit. Where is The View’s Sherri Shepherd?
Back on Phil’s stage, Garlow takes this opportunity to further exaggerate a myth of widespread post-election violence happening against churches and anti-gay demonstrators. Newsom interjects and says that any violence is wrong but points out that gay and lesbian couples have long been the victims of violence. He adds that we are talking about civil marriages and that this shouldn’t even be a religious issue. (Translation: Pick up your toys and go home Garlow.)
Point 3: Equality
Segment 4: Going into the second half, Dr. Phil pulls the gloves off to talk about the techniques used by Prop 8’s ProtectMarriage.com to extort money out of companies that supported Equality California. Jeff Flint tries to explain and Dr. Phil calls it what it is: “threatening and intimidation.”
Regarding boycotting going on by “No on 8″ supporters, Gallagher cries foul and attempts to draw a difference between boycotting the businesses of individual donors vs. the businesses that donated.
Newsom refocuses the topic by talking about the devastating change that has happened by altering the Constitution.
Point 4: Equality
Segment 5: We’re nearing the end of the show and there have been no gay couples talking about why marriage is important to them. Until now. This segment features video packages of two couples: David and Bob and Jennifer and Dan. Both couples have two young children so there are nice parallels drawn between the families.
“We’re the couple down the block with two kids,” says Bob in their video package. “Marriage commits permanence,” adds David, against a background of photos from their traditional Jewish wedding.
Bob continues: “After Prop 8 passed on election day I felt betrayed…I felt angry. We want the legal protections of what marriage offers. We want the best for our children. We just want to be equal.”
“We feel like second-class citizens,” concludes David. “If it’s us now, who’s it going to be next?”
Now it’s time for Jennifer and Dan’s package where they will try to explain why their union is superior. Jennifer doesn’t believe gay couples have lost a civil right, just the word ‘marriage.’ It’s interesting to watch the two packages back to back. Both feature scenes of the parents at home with their respective kids: David and Bob’s segment is about themselves and how marriage affects their own family so the footage is all about them and their happy family; Jennifer and Dan have no real grounds to explain how marriage between a same-sex couple directly affects their own family, so much of their segment is spent talking about “them” and showing scenes from the anti-gay TV ads and, yes, shots of David and Bob at home.
Following the packages, the two couples are live in Dr. Phil’s studio audience for follow up. David is passionate and bridges the gap to show the comparisons between the two families: “We have what you have.”
Point 5: Equality
Segment 6: We’re in the home stretch and going into the last segment. “I’m always looking for a way to bring people together,” says Dr. Phil. “Gloria, is there a way to dial down the rhetoric?”
Allred chooses instead to talk about the California Supreme Court protecting the minority over the whim of the majority, reinforcing that this is about a legal marriage license and not a religious issue.
Phil asks Garlow if there’s a way to find common ground. Garlow says the acts of violence and name calling has to stop and then launches into a jumble of election statistics. “This issue has been examined microscopically,” he says, trying to convince viewers that voters knew what they were doing when they voted Yes on 8. Allred and Solmonese try to quickly respond but Dr. Phil has to go to a break. I’m sure one of them would have said something to the effect that casting a vote on a fundamental right is not examining the issue, sir.
Point 6: Toss Up
Segment 7: And now it’s over. No time for impassioned audience stories or follow up questions.
“We’ve only scratched the surface here,” before he thanks his guests. “For those of you at home, I hope we’ve given you some insight into this most important issue.” True, Dr. Phil reaches a large audience that could benefit from dialogue about equality for same-sex families, but you’re left with the uneasy feeling that if Oprah and Phil and all the others had given this much attention to the issue before the election, maybe things would have turned out differently.
As he does every show, Dr. Phil closes the show by walking through the audience to join his wife Robin (reminding viewers that he can still marry). Dr. Phil says he wants to be a healer. Perhaps not segregating and dividing the audience would have been the first step.
Based on my highly unscientific scoring criteria, Equality seemed to win by episode’s end. But as the credits roll and the camera pans through the audience, the relatively blank faces of the audience members on both sides say it all: Nothing really came from this.
Dr. Phil Tackles Marriage Equality
November 21, 2008
Today’s Dr. Phil episode, “Same-Sex Marriage: Right or Wrong?” is devoted to a post-election discussion and debate about California’s battle for marriage equality. Will it move the needle? Tune in to find out.
Joining Dr. Phil are San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom, HRC president Joe Solmonese, and attorney Gloria Allred debating anti-gay Pastor Jim Garlow of Skyline Church, Maggie Gallagher of National Organization for Marriage, and Jeff Flint from the Yes on 8 campaign. See the preview here.
The Dr. Phil show has been hit and miss on LGBT issues. He recently did an episode on transgender young people where a platform was inexplicably given to Focus on the Family’s Glenn Stanton, a man who is not an expert on developmental issues or transgender children. Stanton baselessly asserted that children develop transgender identities when their parents fail to enforce gender roles.
Newsom
For today’s topic, Dr. Phil says he will remain as neutral as Switzerland, but perhaps the placement of the guests send an unintended but real message. . .
- Garlow, Gallagher, Flint
Check back with glaadBLOG later today for live blogging analysis.
What to Watch: This Weekend
November 21, 2008
Friday, November 21
Check local listings Dr. Phil, syndicated (1 hr) NEW - Proposition 8 is discussed by guests including Joe Solmonese, president of the Human Rights Campaign, and Gavin Newsom, mayor of San Francisco.
8:00 pm Degrassi: The Next Generation, The N (30 min) NEW - Though gay faves Marco, Dylan, Alex and Paige have graduated, it doesn’t mean there aren’t new gay high school students to love! Check out this teen hit and meet the new characters.
Gavin Newsom
8:30 pm South of Nowhere, The N (30 min) NEW - Spencer has to make a college decision, and things with Ashley might hang in the balance. [read more]
9:00 pm Starter Wife, USA (1 hr) NEW - The series, based on the miniseries special, brings back Chris Diamantopoulos as Rodney, Molly’s best friend. He’s decorating the home of an A-list action star, and nursing quite the crush on him, but the question is: is the actor gay or straight?
Saturday, November 22
9:00 pm Color Splash, HGTV (30 min) NEW - Out interior designer David Bromstad reworks living spaces. Tonight, his attention is on a den.
10:00 pm The Graham Norton Show, BBC America (1 hr) NEW - Out Irish comedian Graham Norton presents the fourth season of his comedy chat show.
Sunday, November 23
9:00 pm True Blood, HBO (1 hr) SEASON FINALE - The new series by Alan Ball includes pansexual vampires and gay chef Lafayette, who dabbles in both drug dealing and a private escort service for closeted politicians. Tonight, we finally find out who’s been murdering all those “fang-banging” women. [read more]
10:00 pm Entourage, HBO (30 min) SEASON FINALE - Rex Lee plays Lloyd, Ari’s assistant. [read more]
10:00 pm Skins, BBC America (1 hr) NEW - In this teen drama, Maxxie is the cute blondie that can get any boy he wants. This week’s episode focuses on Effy. [read more]
10:30 pm Summer Heights High, HBO (30 min) NEW - This Australian mockumentary satirizes high school life, and features Mr. G., a sexually ambiguous drama teacher with a love for the theater and Chihuahuas.
